Studying with the enemy

Over the past 10 months, my girlfriend has had rectal cancer, diabetes, amebiasis, mesenteric ischemia, and even severe acute respiratory syndrome. No, she does not have familial polyps, she is not obese, she is not a senior citizen, and she has never been to Beijing. She is just a medical student. It all started a year ago when she began her clinical courses. After taking microbiology, she had an acute case of shigellosis. A day after passing endocrinology, she fell ill with a pheochromocytoma. And three months ago, having finished gastroenterology, her rectum had a malignant neoplasm, a parasitic infection, and haemorrhoids. To me, this seemed like regular hypochondria. However, as the days (and the courses) flew by, I became worried about her mental health. She spent hours reading, trying to figure out what terrible microbe was behind her headache. I had to check her blood pressure, her tonsils, her tympanum, and her heartbeat every time she had diarrhoea. One day, when a rash appeared on her forearm, she dramatically …